Difficult Conversations: How to Discuss What Matters Most
Author: Douglas Ston
What is a difficult conversation?
Asking for a raise. Ending a relationship. Saying "no" to your boss or spouse. Confronting disrespectful behavior. Apologizing. Conversations we dread, and often handle clumsily as a result, are part of all our lives: in boardrooms and family rooms, across the negotiation table and the dinner table. Now, Difficult Conversations teaches us how to handle these dialogues with more success and less anxiety.
How does it work?
Based on fifteen years of research and consultations with thousands of people, Difficult Conversations pinpoints what works. The authors discovered that regardless of context, the same small but crucial errors are what trip us up — and a few key adjustments can make all the difference.
* The role of emotions — ours and theirs
* The impact of what is said and what is not said
* Why admitting our mistakes will put us in a stronger position
* The truth behind the myth that women are better at expressing their emotions than men
* How to respond productively in the face of personal attacks
Who is this for?
Filled with examples from everyday life, Difficult Conversations is certain to be an instant and lasting classic for families, neighbors, bosses, employees, customers, tenants, landlords, psychologists, teachers, and more.
Who are the authors?
Douglas Stone, Bruce Patton, and Sheila Heen teach at Harvard Law School and at the Harvard Negotiation Project. They have consulted to countless businesspeople, governments, organizations, and communities including all parties to the negotiations on constitutional transition in South Africa; school teachers in Medellin, Colombia; and community leaders and the police department in Springfield, Massachusetts. They lecture throughout the world and have written on negotiation, conflict resolution, and communication. Bruce Patton is co-author of Getting to Yes.
Library Journal
Stone and his coauthors, teachers at Harvard Law School and the Harvard Negotiation Project, present an informative, practical guide to the art of handling difficult conversations--e.g., firing an employee, ending a relationship, or discussing marital conflicts. The information is based on 15 years of research and thousands of personal interviews. The authors define a difficult conversation as "anything you find it hard to talk about." Each chapter recommends step-by-step techniques that can lead to a more constructive approach for dealing with distressing interactions, so that a difficult conversation can become a learning conversation. Examples of right and wrong conversations from everyday life are used throughout the book, which is extremely well organized and easy to follow. This will be appreciated by readers who wish to improve oral communication in all aspects of their daily lives. Recommended for self-help collections in public and academic libraries.--Elizabeth Goeters, Georgia Perimeter Coll., Dunwoody
What People Are Saying
Tom Peters
My skepticism towards books like this runs wide and deep. But this is the brilliant exception. I've already re-read most of it. I'm using it. What more could a reader ask?
— (Tom Peters, bestselling author of In Search of Excellence and The Pursuit of Wow!)
Daniel Goleman
Emotional intelligence applied to life's tough moments.
— (Daniel Goleman, bestselling author of Working with Emotional Intelligence)
Peter M. Senge
The only people who shouldn't read Difficult Conversations are those who never work with people, anywhere.
— (Peter M. Senge, bestselling author of The Fifth Discipline)
New interesting textbook: Quickies for Couples or You Are What You Are Cookbook
Driven to Distraction: Recognizing and Coping with Attention Deficit Disorder from Childhood Through Adulthood
Author: Edward M MD Hallowell
Procrastination. Disorganization. Distractibility. Millions of adults have long considered these the hallmarks of a lack of self-discipline. But for many, these and other problems in school, at work and in social relationships are actually symptoms of an inborn neurological problem: ADD, or Attention Deficit Disorder.
Through vivid stories of the experiences of their patients -- both adults and children -- Dr. Edward R. Hallowell and Dr. John J. Ratey show the varied forms ADD takes -- from the hyperactive search for high stimulation to the floating inattention of daydreaming -- and the transforming impact of precise diagnosis and treatment.
Driven to Distraction is a must listen for everyone intrigued by the workings of the human mind.
Library Journal
Hallowell and Ratey offer a fine addition to literature on ADD (Attention Deficit Disorder). The authors employ a broad, general definition of ADD (``high-energy, action-oriented, bottom-line, gotta-run-type people'') and continually emphasize the special, positive qualities of people with ADD. They describe how ADD affects adults--many Americans mistakenly think of it as a childhood curse--and explain how the American temperament helps create ADD-like symptoms. Best of all are the stories and case studies of myriad folks who have dealt successfully with their diagnosis. A state-by-state list of support groups are included in this excellent approach to an intriguing subject.-- Linda Beck, Indian Valley P.L., Telford, Pa.
Table of Contents:
| Preface: A Personal Perspective | ||
| 1 | What Is Attention Deficit Disorder? | 3 |
| 2 | "I Sang in My Chains Like the Sea": The Child with ADD | 41 |
| 3 | "Sequence Ravelled Out of Sound": Adult ADD | 70 |
| 4 | Living and Loving with ADD: ADD in Couples | 107 |
| 5 | The Big Struggle: ADD and the Family | 126 |
| 6 | Parts of the Elephant: Subtypes of ADD | 151 |
| 7 | How Do I Know if I Have It? The Steps Toward Diagnosis | 195 |
| 8 | What Can You Do About It? The Treatment of ADD | 215 |
| 9 | A Local Habitation and a Name: The Biology of ADD | 269 |
| Acknowledgments | 287 | |
| Appendix: Where to Find Help | 289 | |
| Index | 305 |
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